Journal
by UchihaIzunaGhost
Summary: The journal of Uchiha Izuna, even after death.
1. Drowning

A few words if you will.

Drowning, does anyone know how terrifying it can be? I remember it clearly, running atop the ever-changing currents of water beneath me. The man who was my enemy, manipulating them with a mere flick of the finger watching with furious, cold red eyes. It was eerie how alike they were to the sharingan, if I had commented; I guarantee he would have bristled like a cat.

But, that isn't really what I intended to write of, now was it? No, drowning. Drowning was what has captured my attention. But why it interests me, which is truly what I find frightening. I remember it clearly…..

* * *

_It had been any other day, any other fight. Blood coating his arms, staining into the side of his face. A dragon of water rose from beneath him, slamming into his chest, knocking the air out of his lungs._

_Izuna vaguely felt pressure, all over his body, water filling his nostrils and flooding his mouth. The blood, what was fresh anyway, melted away from his skin, making the clear water a pinkish color. Izuna couldn't move, and the heavy feeling only increased._

_Air was difficult, impossible to gain and his vision was fading. But, he had never felt more unburdened, letting the current take him where it may. With no control, and a safe, barrier or water. Of tears. The same, furious red eyes stared down at him from above, for once, confused. Izuna felt his lips curl up, into a sinister parody of a smile._

_He wanted nothing more then to remain where he was. Safe, or so he felt. Izuna knew he was deeply nestled into his enemy's palm. So he moved, his once, horizontal form, seizing control once more, vertically swimming up, quickly, sharply cutting through the fog which clouded his mind._

_Izuna broke through the surface, rivulets of water streaming down his face, dripping from his eyes, soaking him through. His hands placed upon the suddenly still skin of the water, the way the water felt, sucking him under. Izuna felt reluctance to leave, that peaceful, silent place._

_But….._

_"Not today and **never** tomorrow." Izuna's voice rang out, startling the white haired man with the strength behind it._

* * *

Most people would panic, normal people always do. Shinobi, kunoichi, everyone does. I did not, I felt the currents, and involuntarily my body relaxed on its own. I was sinking, and floating suspended in the suddenly empty void of the waters that surrounded me.

I didn't want to break the surface, for one reason alone. I was at peace, suspended, no one could touch me, and I didn't have to carry myself. My lungs slowly seemed to fill, despite my mouth being parted a thin crack.

I should have drowned, the water should have caused me to black out. But, I suppose after fighting a man, who was literally almost one with the rain, the rivers and lakes. He could vanish without a trace, even with his shockingly white hair.

I suppose, my own body adapted. That is the only reason I can think of, my body temperature rising in a futile way to evaporate the water in my lungs.

_But, I doubt that._

Farewell, Uchiha Izuna


	2. Hallucinations

A few words if you will

Nii-san once said, illusions were painfully beautiful. Because even if you knew they were not real, you would still remember the agony, the joy which clawed deep into your heart. I suppose he meant genjutsu, which was what I had always assumed.

But I had never been so wrong. He spoke of dreams, whether they were nightmares, or peaceful dreams you wanted to hold onto so tightly your hands would break from the force you yourself would exclude in desperation. I wasn't aware that the dead could dream, of course, I know this now.

I dreamed of rivers, golden dappled, sunlit spots, my brothers, every last one, even the ones I did not remember clearly. I dreamed of laughter, of beautiful, beautiful smiles, eyes shining with innocence. They were beautiful dreams I never wanted to let go of.

But as Nii-san had said, illusions were painfully beautiful. Maybe he spoke of the pain, of waking from the lands of which no war ever raged. Where brothers could spar, and enemies were rivals, smirking, teasing and shoving coyly.

That was part of what he meant. He also mentioned nightmares, and those were the worst, because my nightmares, they were real. They were reality once. They were filled with bloodshed, the earth would be soaked scarlet. Children would be screaming, and mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters were all slaughtered without mercy.

This was my reality, and it frightened me. I dreamed of Madara, who was so lost, the moment I had died. He was angry, furious at himself. He couldn't protect me, it was his fault, all of it. He would blame himself in this manner, and it hurts. It hurts because I can not reach him, but sometimes. Sometimes I can.

Those moments I know Nii-san treasures completely, almost as much as myself.

Farewell, Uchiha Izuna


	3. Fear

A few words if you will

Emotion, or rather emotions. I can not place a name to every last one, because nothing can ever really describe it all. Even now, nearly a century having passed, I can not name them all.

I can name fear though.

I can't say why, I can't even remember all of the events before my own death. But I can remember the fear, I can remember the blood, flowing from my wounds, and the slash through my side. I remember, that I spoke up, against the man my brother once called friend.

I was so scared, because Madara was terrified to death. His face was an ashy pale, and his eyes were dead and defeated, I could see the glaze over them, indicating his worsening eyesight. Even his wild, untamed mane of hair seemed to droop.

My Nii-san, who was so strong, was frightened so badly, that he would snap and nearly lunge forward to anyone who dared approach us. He was almost feral, his upper lip curling, baring sharp, white teeth. It was only when I realized he needed my eyes, which I realized there was no way that I could possibly survive, did I tell him to take them.

He raged, of course he did. He was furious, tears building in his eyes, falling rapidly thereafter. He was shouting in a whisper, his voice cracked, and his heart was breaking. Madara broke the moment I spoke, and he would curl his fingers over my upper arms, repeatedly saying it would be okay.

That I would live, I had to, and he couldn't do this on his own. He was breaking, shattering right in front of me, and I couldn't do a thing. I could only offer what would save him from the darkness, I would never let him live blindly. The fear though, despite what I was saying, it was there. It was always there, and it never left.

When my eyes were gone, the fear remained. It was like a poison, spreading thickly. I would choke on my own blood, and even then, I smiled at him, even if I could not see him. The last thing I remember of him, of really living, was being held in his arms, his hand softly stroking the top of my head, the warmth of his tears falling over me.

I had never felt so scared, and so protected.

Farewell, Uchiha Izuna


	4. Chakra

A few words if you will

Chakra, it was a strange concept to me once. Once long ago, it was nothing but a sort of warmth that flooded through my body; it kept me from freezing in the blizzards, in the rain, and from the cold air of the morning. My affinity had been fire, and thus, my blood, my body, was always a bit higher of temperature than others.

It would have worried anyone who was unfamiliar with the way chakra worked. It was why; I could not become just a normal civilian. I had to fight, and when I did, the chakra burned and writhed under my skin. It overwhelmed me, and even if I did not burn, or sweat, I continued to ignite.

Madara did not have this problem, no; he was born with the affinity of wind. I can not imagine what that would feel like, nor do I dare to. It is probably cold, and ice like. Sharp and cutting with every movement, even with a simple motion such as breathing.

Madara used his fan, to direct the air from his body, and to his enemies. They were often blown back hundred of feet, and sometimes even cut and slashed by the force. Nii-san in turn gave me a fan of my own, and said to expel the heat from my body. I did this, and the heat that I had grown accustomed to left me, it abandoned me with such ease, and I felt chilled.

Moments later however, the heat would return, and I would be forced to move. Spurred on into action because of the fire writhing, burning beneath my skin. I had never felt more alive, with the fire burning within me, leaving and returning like a boomerang.

Only one person though, could leave me absolutely chilled to the bone, and at a temperature that relaxed my movements. I had known him since childhood, and not as a friend. He was my enemy, and he was my killer.

Before that however, many years before that, we fought. With swords, with jutsu, with illusions and vicious, venomous words. Once, our swords clashed, and however briefly it had been, our hands touched, and a shock jolted through me, and it cooled and burned and continued back and forth rapidly.

He in turn had suffered the same thing, and we knew none of us had cast a jutsu of any sorts. However, only moments later, our fight continued, and the fire which once blazed in my own eyes, mirrored in his own. I wonder, even now what my eyes looked like, because he had changed after that contact.

So I know I did as well, but even now, we both are unsure of what had quite happened. Even after death, this action befuddles me.

Farewell, Uchiha Izuna


	5. Falconry

A few words if you will

A bird in flight was always a sight to see, the way it would spread its wings out, and take off. Madara had taken a strong liking to the predatory birds, hawks, eagles, falcons; he would try to tame them. Often he would succeed, and this did not bother him at all.

A sharp whistle being the only thing he needed to call them down to his arm, now deemed worthy as a perch. I had watched him from the time he first began; to the time they would willingly follow him.

I had watched in awe, as despite the small cuts he would get, and the way the birds would sometimes glare at him that he would continue, speaking in soft, low murmurs, effectively calming the bird on his arm or above him.

I never dared to try however, because it was Madara's thing. It was his, and I didn't wish to take this from him. It separated him from everyone else, and it did this well. Even if he was known as a vicious, ruthless man on the battlefield he was still seen as a man who was well versed in falconry.

He was still my brother, and he was still the man who dared touch the skies with his fingers.

Farewell, Uchiha Izuna


	6. Archery

A few words if you will

Falconry was one thing my brother did, that I did not. The same went for archery, my brother did not dare pick up the bow, instead choosing the barely brush the edges of his fingers over the wood, barely dipping over the string, and brushing the feathering at the ends of the arrows.

They were mine to wield, and I did this well.

The arrows would not brutally cut through the air, as often as most people did with their kunais, and often even other arrows. The air whistled around their weapons and they could always be avoided. However, with my hands, my fingers deftly plucking the string and releasing, the arrow slid through the air, like water pouring down your face.

No sound was made, and they would not notice until it was felt. Feeling required many things, and pain was one of them. Day and night, I would take out our enemies with the silent arrows; they would fall, collapsing without warning.

Two men aside from Madara began to recognize my work, and only barely avoided being struck down. Even now, I smile at the astonished expressions both men wore that day.

Farewell, Uchiha Izuna


End file.
